Christmas Lists

People every year ask what you want for Christmas.  You never can think of anything, so you take your time and make a list.  Then, when you give your list out to all those people, they get mad and say your list isn't good enough.  Huh?  I put what I wanted on my list.  You can either get me what I want or figure it out yourself.  I mean, you asked for the list and you got it.  Sorry, that's the way it works.

Christmas Week

Ah, here we are, just days away from Christmas.  All the last minute shoppers are out and about.  Don't even try to go to the mall or Wal-Mart.  It's nuts out there.  Why do so many people have to wait until the last minute?  It's just like shopping for birthday gifts, you don't have to wait until the day before, but people do anyway.  It's not like you can forget what day Christmas is on.  It's Insanity Week.  Good luck.

$75 T-shirt

What?  Are you kidding me?  I saw a website the other day offering a sale of 4 "vintage t-shirts" for $300.  Who pays $75 for a t-shirt?  I just can't understand who does that.  That is ridiculous.  I won't even spend $75 for a new pair of jeans or a new jacket.  I don't remember the last piece of clothing I spent $75 on.  I don't know if I have ever done that.  What is the world coming to?  $75......

Hair Cut Hairs

I am weird about hair cuts.  I love getting my hair cut about every 2 or 3 weeks.  There is one thing I hate about hair cuts.  Those itchy little left over hairs that sneak down your neck and bother you all day until you can take a shower.  You can't see em.  They are uncatchable.  How can something that small be so uncomfortable.  I hate those hair cut hairs.

Cartoons

Come on, who doesn't like cartoons?  I don't mean these crazy anime digital cartoons.  I'm talking the real deal.  Bugs Bunny, Wile Coyote, Tom & Jerry, Scooby Doo, and more.  These are the things most of us grew up watching and look how we turned out.  Just fine, I'd say.  Now a days, these kids watch some crappy cartoons and look how they are turning out.  Not good.  I'm going to do my best to show my kids the classics before it's too late.  We need more Grape Ape in the world.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is a strange animal.  It's like the all world remedy for everything.  But don't we need some other vitamins as well?  I understand that vitamin C is great for you, but what about vitamin B, or D?  Don't the other vitamins feel left out?  You never hear anything about vitamin A.  (Is there a vitamin A?)  I wish I knew the secret to vitamin C. 

Dry Skin

Winter is the worst time of year on your skin.  Everybody has dry lips, dry hands, dry everything.  I hate it.  Why don't I live in Arizona or something?  I hate the cold, because you have to bundle up.  Then, the cold dries you out.  It's miserable.  Dry legs, hands, arms, cheeks, everything.  (Did I already say that?)  Isn't there something we can do to keep our skin feeling good all year 'round?

Celebrities

There is something mysterious about celebrities.  I don't know what it is.  Like famous people or athletes are some strange phenemon.  In reality they are human beings just like the rest of us, but society has trained us into believing that they are better than we are.  Whether it's money or fame, they have something we don't and probably never will have.  But that's okay.  We can all be special in one way or another.

Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping isn't always the funnest thing to take part in.  You fight crowds, you always try to find the best sales, and its cold out.  That's no fun.  The only good part about the whole deal is seeing somebody open the gift you bought for them and seeing their reaction.  It makes it all worth while when you see the smile and hear them talk about how much they enjoy it.  It's more fun to give than actually receive.  Merry Christmas.

Icy Roads

Some people are so stupid.  Every year people forget what it is like to drive on ice.  It's like they don't remember that ice causes vehicles to slip and slide all over the road.  It's not that hard.  SLOW DOWN!  Seriously, its not that hard to remember, when there's ice, don't drive as fast as normal.  Geez.

ABC's

Isn't it cute when a little kid starts saying their ABC's?  They are learning so much.  But I think it is impossible to not sing along with them in your head.  Just try it the next time somebody starts to say their ABC's and for you to not sing along.  It's not possible.  It's like a yawn, you can't stop yourself.  (See yawn blog from previous month).

Media Scandals

Media scandals sure do give everyday people something to talk about, but is it really appropriate.  I kind of go back and forth on this issue.  I mean we have our privacy, right?  I guess even that is debatable.  But just because someone is famous or makes lots of money, why should that be of any interest to us what they do when they are not in the spotlight.  These people aren't like you or I and never will be.  Why do even try and relate to them and how they live their lives?  It's pretty stupid if you ask me.

Economy

When are people going to figure out this economy?  It is driving everybody crazy.  People losing their jobs, people losing their money, people losing homes.  It is pretty bad.  I know that there are some areas where things are really bad, compared to where I am.  What is the government doing?  There is only so much stimulating that can be done.  At some point people are going to have to figure it out for themselves.

Christmas Lights

What is it with Christmas traditions?  Who thought putting lights on your house in December was a good idea?  Even worse than that is having to take them down in January, if they aren't frozen to your house.  And why is it that the Christmas tree has to be put up the day after Thanksgiving?  What will they think of next?  A designated shopping day? 

Sick

Just when you get over a nasty cold, you get a few weeks of feeling pretty good, and then WHAM.  It's back.  The cough, the runny nose, the congestion, the whole thing.  I hate being sick.  The medicine is nasty, it doesn't work half of the time, and you feel like crap.  Can't they come up with something better to treat this stuff and knock it out in like a day or two.  How great would that be?  The two day cold and then it's gone. 

Free Lunch

The only thing better than free food is free beer and I've already discussed that.  Isn't it great when you get the offer for a free lunch though.  Free lunches always taste better.  You are always a little hungrier than normal.  Hey, you don't have to buy.  It doesn't get much better than that.  Other than free beer, I guess.  But we've already talked about that. 

Busy Again

I am hoping that tomorrow I will be back on the blogging trail starting tomorrow again.  Things get a little hectic when you change jobs suddenly and your computer bombs on you.  Like when your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.  Thats no fun.  Anyway, I hope to be back tomorrow.  Until then, stay warm and have a good day.

Free Beer

Free beer, what an incentive.  If you need help getting people to show up for anything, try beer.  Whether it's a party, a wedding, or you need help moving.  You can try to invite them without knowledge of the free beer, but the minute they begin to hesitate, throw out the free beer.  The outlook seems to change and suddenly they don't mind coming to your cousins birthday party.  Beer:  The ultimate invitation assistant.

Yawns

Yawning is a funny thing. (And a funny word, just look at it.)  What a mystery.  Just by talking about it or seeing someone else do it, you do it.  What is that all about?  This has to be one of the strangest things relating to the human body.  What other action can we do that is so contagious and so unstoppable.  Nothing.  The yawn is an unstoppable force that no man or woman can resist. 

Daylight Savings

I'm not sure I get the point of daylight savings time.  I mean, what is the point?  Take away an hour here, add an hour here.  Why don't we keep changing it so we actually have some daylight in the winter.  How's that for an idea.  Even things out a little.  I love the long days in the summer, but hate the short days in the winter.  Can't we squeeze a few more days of sunlight in there somewhere.  But then again, I'm sure there is a good reason for all of it.

Retirement

It's too bad we can't retire by the time we're 50 or 55.  Wouldn't that be great?  Why do we need to work until we are 62 or 65 or 67?  Let people enjoy the time they have left.  Can't we figure out some way to make social security work?  Maybe it's just me wishing that I could retire when I get that age, because I'm worried there won't be any more money left for this generation.  What about our kids?  Oh boy.

Keyboard

Haven't you ever wondered who came up with the order of the keys on a computer keyboard?  I mean, that's a pretty big responsibility to lay on someone.  "Hey design a keyboard that will be used by billions of people."  That's a lot of pressure.  Imagine the executive who had to make that decision.  Don't screw that one up.  I wonder how much research went into the placement of each key.  Interesting, huh?

Being Sick

It's inevitable.  Once the weather starts getting cold, it's time to get sick.  It starts with a sore throat.  Then leads to a cough and a scratchy voice.  Then the sneezing.  Then the snot-nose.  It's either or running or stuffed up.  You can't take enough medicine.  Thank God for Nyquil.  It seems like it still takes a good 3-4 weeks to get completely over it.  It can't just be a 3 day thing.  Oh no. 

World Series

There's something special about baseball in October (and November).  The crisp night air, the intensity, the drama, the history.  It all adds up to something unique.  It's one of the those special occasions when I make an effort to watch baseball.  It's like the Super Bowl and the Masters.  You just have to watch.  It's a little harder to stay involved in it because it's dragged out over a week and half.  But thats baseball and thats how they do things.

Blogging

Sometimes when you are trying to do a daily blog things don't go according to plan.  Like when you get busy.  Or your computer will not cooperate and let you into the website that you need to get into to blog.  Things never go according to plan.  Hopefully things will calm down enough that I can continue to keep this thing going, daily.  Patience my friends.

Politics

I hate politics.  Everybody has an opinion and nobody is right.  You can argue about politics all day long and you can't ever get people to agree on anything.  People have there own opinions, keep them to yourself.  Its all a bunch of crap anyway.  Just twisting words to make people believe you know what you are talking about or what is right.  Blah, blah, blah.

Fall

One of the few things I actually like about this time of year is the way the leaves change color.  There are a few days where the leaves seem to change like magic.  Golden yellows, deep purples, light crisp browns.  They are here one day and gone the next.  In a few weeks, all the leaves are gone and things are dreary and dead looking for the rest of the winter. 

Shaggy

I've always wondered if Shaggy gets jealous of Fred. Think about it for a minute. Fred always gets to go roaming around with Velma and Daphne and poor old Shaggy has to run around with Scooby all the time. That just doesn't seem fair. Come on Shaggy, man up.

Change

I don't know when kids stopped learning how to do math.  It is amazing to me how many people can't give the correct change.  I laugh every time I go through a drivethru.  I can't wait to see what kind of change I'll get back.  And usually I try to give exact change or give extra so the change comes out in better increments.  What is the world coming to?

A Bump in the Night

Have you ever heard a strange noise in the middle of the night?  Something that's loud enough to wake you up.  The problem is you don't know what it was or where it came from.  Were you just dreaming?  No, you heard something.  You are too scared to get up and check it out, so you just lay there listening for every little thing.  What a creepy feeling.

Rainy Days

There's something about the time of year when the weather changes and the leaves begin to fall.  The days of fall showers are something special.  The cool rain signals a change that winter is coming.  Who knows how long it will be now that snow will be coming.  I like to be outdoors, but a nice rain all day is nice every once in a while.  The day is overcast and you can stay indoors all day and just take a breather.  The rain is nice every once in a while.

Cold Weather

I hate cold weather.  What's there to like?  You have to bundle up and wear more clothes.  Your skin gets dry all the time.  You can't go outside and do anything.  I wonder why I don't live in Arizona or something.  That's where I should go.  I better get used to it here.  We're looking at another 5-6 months of cold.  What a bummer.

Time

I always find it amazing how fast time goes by.  One thing you know you are in school and you can't wait get out.  Then you're done, married, and have kids.  Next thing you know, I'll be retired.  Well maybe not.  It's just hard to imagine how things go so quickly.  Tomorrow my kids will be married and out of the house and there will be grandkids running around.  What happens to the time?

Cold Water

I love the feeling of drinking a cold glass of ice water first thing in the morning.  You take a sip, wait a minute, and you can feel the cold going down your throat and into your belly.  I love it.  Does that make me weird?  I know I'm not the only one who knows what I'm talking about.  I hate coffee, but I assume people have the same feeling though. 

Strange Driving Phenomenon

Isn't it creepy when you've been on the road driving for a while and realize you don't know how you got there?  It's like our bodies turn into auto pilots.  We are on cruise control and don't realize what we're doing.  We are creatures of habit and things get ingrained on our brains.  It's no wonder that we have so many accidents.

Busy Times

There is something weird about being busy.  The time flies by.  You never know what day it is.  Things are a blur all the time.  It is nice when it makes your days go by faster at work, but sometimes you just want everything to slow down.  It's nice to relax a take a breather, especially when you are not used to being busy.  The older you get, the faster the days go by.

Mondays

I'm not sure why Mondays always suck.  The weekend is never long enough and then you come back to work on Monday and BAM!  Everything goes to crap.  It's like people save up all the problems for Mondays.  Every problem you have, gets worse and worse.  Nobody's happy to be at work.  Everybody is in a bad mood.  We need to get rid of Mondays all together.  Who needs the headache.

Dessert

Imagine stuffing your face with your favorite meal.  You have one or two more helpings than you should, you get done and you can barely breath.  Then you realize, there is a tantalizing dessert waiting for you.  Do you go ahead and try it or do you wait til later?  You know you won't be hungry for at least a few hours and by then you won't feel like eating.  What are you going to do?

Deja Vu

Isn't deja vu a creepy thing?  You get a strange feeling like you have been there before or you have seen something before, even though it hasn't happened yet.  There has to be some kind of explanation.  I don't know what the hell it is, but it strange.  Maybe our subconscious lives in another alternate universe.  Well, maybe not, but it is pretty weird.

End of Summer

When summer begins to fade and the air gets a nice crisp chill in the mornings, I get a little sad.  I am a summer guy.  I like to be outside playing golf, mowing the yard, playing with the kids.  Winter is so drab and confined.  Who likes cold windy days?  They suck.  I guess it's 6-7 more months before things will turn around. 

Book

Is there anything like getting engrossed in a good book that you can't put down?  You can picture all the characters, you can see the scenery, and the plot unfolds right in front of you.  You furiously flip through the pages, rushing to the ending.  And then when you get to the end and the resolution plays itself out, you can finally let a sigh of relief.  And then you can start another one.

Showers - Part III

One thing I've never understood is people that will take a shower before going to the gym.  Or taking a shower before playing golf.  What is the point?  So you will smell good for 10 minutes before get all sweaty and nasty?  I don't get it.  Just wait until you get done and shower then.  Don't waste the water, the time, or the towel.

Showers - Part II

It is amazing to me the ratio of male to female products in a shower.  It has to be 1:19.  I have one item in the shower, hair and body wash.  But women seem to think they need a different product for each part of their body.  Plus 4 different hair products; conditioner, shampoo, who knows what else.  I still haven't figured out what all of them are.  Women have to make everything so complicated.

Showers - Part I

Evening shower or morning shower?  I guess it depends on the situation.  If you get done mowing the yard, obviously it will be an evening shower.  Or if you know you are going to have to leave early the next day, again an evening shower is the answer.  But sometimes, you get so tired in the evening and you just don't feel like it.  That would be a morning shower day.

Cluttered Garages

I don't understand the people that have so much crap in their garage that they can't park their cars in them.  Do you really have that much stuff?  I thought a garage was made for cars, not clutter.  Get rid of some of that stuff.  Do you really use all of that stuff?  Have you ever heard of a garage sale? 

Monday Night Football

There has got to be a conspiracy brewing in the NFL.  How is it possible that every single MNF game comes down to the final 2 minutes?  I know the NFL is all about parody and equality, but come on.  Maybe ESPN is in on it too.  All I know is that things work out too perfect.  Ratings are at all time high and the big name players are always making plays.  Conspiracy or just good ol' football?  Who knows.

Weekend Time Warp

I think somewhere there is a time warp that speeds up time from Friday afternoon until Sunday night.  One minute you are leaving work on Friday night and the next thing you know you are back at work on Monday morning.  How can this be?  Once Monday does roll around, somebody puts the time warp machine in slow motion. 

Hair Spray vs Hair Gel

The debate rages on.  I used to be a hair spray guy.  I didn't like getting goo on my hands.  But the problem with spray is that it gets on the walls and the mirror.  Then if you don't do it right, you have a sticky forehead all day.  What a pain.  For the last few years, I have switched to gel and will never go back.  No overspray, no sticky mess, just a quick rinse of the hands and you are done.  I will be a gel man for life, or until I go bald.

Alarm Clocks

No wonder most people are unhappy these days.  Every morning you get rudely woken up by the buzzing, beeping, annoyance of your alarm clock.  Can they not come up with a more gentle way of waking people up in the morning.  There you are in peaceful sleep, when all of a sudden, BEEEEP, BEEEEEP, BEEEEEP.  Stop the insanity.

Diets

Diets = Temporary Change in Eating Habits.  That's all diets are, temporary.  The reason diets don't work is because they are temporary.  If they were permanent, then we wouldn't have to keep trying new ones.  And why are there so many different kinds of diets?  Do they really work?  Well, temporarily.

Traffic Gawkers

I don't understand traffic gawkers.  You know what I mean.  There's a wreck or somebody has been pulled over and instead of driving like a normal human, they have to slow down and gawk.  Big deal, its a car.  Come on people, how many times have you seen this?  Pull your head out and get your foot off the brake.  Lets drive.