Cluttered Garages

I don't understand the people that have so much crap in their garage that they can't park their cars in them.  Do you really have that much stuff?  I thought a garage was made for cars, not clutter.  Get rid of some of that stuff.  Do you really use all of that stuff?  Have you ever heard of a garage sale? 

Monday Night Football

There has got to be a conspiracy brewing in the NFL.  How is it possible that every single MNF game comes down to the final 2 minutes?  I know the NFL is all about parody and equality, but come on.  Maybe ESPN is in on it too.  All I know is that things work out too perfect.  Ratings are at all time high and the big name players are always making plays.  Conspiracy or just good ol' football?  Who knows.

Weekend Time Warp

I think somewhere there is a time warp that speeds up time from Friday afternoon until Sunday night.  One minute you are leaving work on Friday night and the next thing you know you are back at work on Monday morning.  How can this be?  Once Monday does roll around, somebody puts the time warp machine in slow motion. 

Hair Spray vs Hair Gel

The debate rages on.  I used to be a hair spray guy.  I didn't like getting goo on my hands.  But the problem with spray is that it gets on the walls and the mirror.  Then if you don't do it right, you have a sticky forehead all day.  What a pain.  For the last few years, I have switched to gel and will never go back.  No overspray, no sticky mess, just a quick rinse of the hands and you are done.  I will be a gel man for life, or until I go bald.

Alarm Clocks

No wonder most people are unhappy these days.  Every morning you get rudely woken up by the buzzing, beeping, annoyance of your alarm clock.  Can they not come up with a more gentle way of waking people up in the morning.  There you are in peaceful sleep, when all of a sudden, BEEEEP, BEEEEEP, BEEEEEP.  Stop the insanity.

Diets

Diets = Temporary Change in Eating Habits.  That's all diets are, temporary.  The reason diets don't work is because they are temporary.  If they were permanent, then we wouldn't have to keep trying new ones.  And why are there so many different kinds of diets?  Do they really work?  Well, temporarily.

Traffic Gawkers

I don't understand traffic gawkers.  You know what I mean.  There's a wreck or somebody has been pulled over and instead of driving like a normal human, they have to slow down and gawk.  Big deal, its a car.  Come on people, how many times have you seen this?  Pull your head out and get your foot off the brake.  Lets drive.